Forums » The Ranger

Ranger Jokes

    • 258 posts
    November 18, 2015 9:08 AM PST

    Ranger Jokes - A favorite EQ1 pastime.  So lets hear em! :)

    • 759 posts
    November 18, 2015 1:42 PM PST

    Alright I will get this party started...  Here is an attempt, if nothing else...


    1. Did you hear about the Ranger that went into the Rusty Tavern?  Yeah his group told him "see you there" while they picked up a Druid and went venturing..!


    2. It is always good to know they create a class like the Ranger, greatly needed for those pesky "Death Touch" fights..!



    This post was edited by Pyye at November 18, 2015 1:43 PM PST
    • 103 posts
    November 18, 2015 4:48 PM PST

    Q: What is the difference between a ranger and a corpse?
    A: 30 seconds of combat.


    Q: Fastest ranger joke ever? LFG.

    • 258 posts
    November 24, 2015 6:33 AM PST

    Q: Why don't Clerics heal Rangers?

    A: It's more mana-efficient to rez a ranger then to heal one.

    • 74 posts
    November 25, 2015 11:12 AM PST

    A Ranger walks into a bar.... LOADING PLEASE WAIT.

    Q: Why can't rangers FD (feign death)?
    A: Because the fall would kill them.

    Q: Why is ranger armor green and brown?
    A: Green so they can find their corpse in the dirt. Brown so they can find their corpse on the grass.

    • 759 posts
    November 25, 2015 2:15 PM PST

    Found a few more that were funny:

    Q: What do you call a Warrior with no arms and no legs?
    A: I don't know, but it's better than a Ranger.

    Q: Why did the Ranger cross the road ?
    A: Because the chicken got him down to half a bubble!


    *Mobs tend to think of you as speed bumps

    • 105 posts
    December 23, 2015 12:16 PM PST
    "Hail!" Simples corpse

    Thanks for bringing back some good memories
    • 4398 posts
    November 7, 2016 4:09 PM PST

    From the SOE Live EQN reveal:

    "I had a guy tell me that if I made fun of Rangers at all, he would file a class action lawsuit against me on behalf of all Rangers... I didn't realize Rangers had any class action other than dying."

    • 6 posts
    April 3, 2017 9:51 PM PDT

    anyone remember the Mirage guild movies? there were some classics, 


    Anyone seen my corpse?

    Enter the Iksar

    gnome danceoff

    gnome cleric CCCCCCCCCheal

    etc etc


    there was also a joke game, which was modelled after EQ and the Matrix. You would select an enemy for  your ranger, they both would enter a matrix green chamber, and then whatever it was, would kill the ranger.. Common choices were spiders and fire beetles and rats as I recall. 


    • 20 posts
    November 25, 2017 7:56 PM PST

    How many rangers does it take to kill a fire beetle?

    Nobody knows, they're too scared to try without a full raid.

    • 101 posts
    November 27, 2017 7:47 AM PST

    Raid puller: "<<< Fennin Ro >>> ~Inc~!

    Unlucky_Ranger curses at drawing the short straw 3 weeks in a row and begins to think the system is rigged.

    Unlucky_Ranger's weapon(s) begin to twirl!

    Unlucky_Ranger begins to cast Tangling Weeds!

    Tangling Weeds was resisted by Fennin Ro!

    Unlucky_Ranger begins to cast Flame Lick!

    Fennin Ro is surrounded by flickering flames!

    Unlucky_Ranger has just realised he is screwed and begins to pray.

    Raid Debuff Crew does their thing and grabs some popcorn.

    Raid Meatshield_Manacow uses every ability to obtain aggro off of Unlucky_Ranger (so he says).

    Unlucky_Ranger casts Jolt, Cinder Jolt, Jolt Cola, Mr. Pibb, box of kittens.

    Unlucky_Ranger's weapon(s) slow down.

    Fennin Ro hits YOU for an absurd amount of damage!

    LOADING...Please wait.

    Fennin Ro tells you, "Ding Beotch! I almost leveled off you last week, but rangers are double xp this week!"

    Raid Leader: "WTF! Did Sony change the script this week or buff him? He was on farm mode! How the heck did we wipe!"

    This time, when the guild inevitably blamed the rangers for the wipe, it was actually true.

    • 27 posts
    January 31, 2018 12:15 PM PST

    Awwww, they were ROLLED that way !   Rolled This Way

    and another ranger song :)

    This Ranger's Crazy  

    ( both songs written and performed by Jethal Silverwing)