Forums » General Pantheon Discussion

Gaming World VS Real Life

    • 51 posts
    August 18, 2018 1:42 PM PDT

    I can see parts of myself in different people's posts. I generally view gaming as an alternative to other forms of entertainment like TV, books, and board games. So, more gaming means less of those other things. The exception is when I am feeling stressed at work, which is intermittent. Then, I do tend to escape and de-stress with more gaming. And like Seven, I find in-person interactions somewhat draining. The last thing that I want to do after having people in my face at work all day is go out with yet more people on the evenings and weekends. Don't get me wrong, I do socialize some, but there are limits. For the most part, my husband and cats and occasional phone calls or social engagements are enough.

    • 198 posts
    August 18, 2018 5:25 PM PDT

    Hauskat said:

    I can see parts of myself in different people's posts. I generally view gaming as an alternative to other forms of entertainment like TV, books, and board games. So, more gaming means less of those other things. The exception is when I am feeling stressed at work, which is intermittent. Then, I do tend to escape and de-stress with more gaming. And like Seven, I find in-person interactions somewhat draining. The last thing that I want to do after having people in my face at work all day is go out with yet more people on the evenings and weekends. Don't get me wrong, I do socialize some, but there are limits. For the most part, my husband and cats and occasional phone calls or social engagements are enough.

     

    I'm curious how you feel about people in a game?  Does grouping in a game drain you too, or is it different?  I think it is for me, but if there is a lot if chitter chatter in discord then I tend to start to tune out.


    This post was edited by Parascol at August 18, 2018 5:26 PM PDT
    • 51 posts
    August 19, 2018 8:30 AM PDT

    Parascol said:

    I'm curious how you feel about people in a game?  Does grouping in a game drain you too, or is it different?  I think it is for me, but if there is a lot if chitter chatter in discord then I tend to start to tune out.

    Real life "grouping" usually involves planning in advance. There have been many times I have said, "sure, let's get together on such and such day" only to find I am really not in the mood to go out that day. But I honor my obligations. So, I have learned to be disciplined about not taking too many of them on.

    With gaming, you can chose to log on or not, so you can decide in the moment whether you are feeling social or not. That is one of the things I love about gaming. Even if you are home sick and feeling kinda pathetic and lonely, you can socialize. 

    So, no, grouping in game doesn't generally drain me. I am there by choice and can always log out. I do strongly prefer text to discord chat. I don't like hearing the background noise. Whether text or discord, if there is vulgar or offensive chat, I am gone. But if people want to chit chat about other things on their mind, it's all good to me.

    • 119 posts
    August 19, 2018 1:01 PM PDT

    As the token fat nerdy kid in JHS and HS, and the target of harassment from the typical 'jock' clique of folks during those years, I found EQ and UO to be the perfect escape. During hard times, I often preferred to exist in those worlds for most of the day (I would often skip classes or go home early to play). You could say that I left 'real life' slide a bit to indulge in that escapism, but in hindsight I think it also helped me stay sane.

    I was soft-spoken and timid, which probably made me an easy target, but in EQ and UO I could be whatever I wanted really, and for a time at least in UO, I had a reputation as a skilled PK'er on my server. Having lots of friends in EQ helped me prefer that over my reality, too. Eventually some kids at school saw me playing EQ in the PC lab on a computer I'd just built and started talking to me about it. I ended up playing with them, and they became my best group of friends to this day.

    I suppose my answer to the question is yes - sometimes the game world is preferable. Choosing to prioritize it over your actual life can, at times, be necessary depending on your situation, but you should always try to come back to reality to keep things together. In my case, Everquest and Ultima Online offered me a much needed escape (one that I'd sometimes spend 20 hours a day in, while neglecting school!), and ultimately lead to me meeting a great group of people who more or less helped to draw me back to the real world and be much happier. Not to say I wasn't happy in the game world - I enjoyed it immensely, but having a group of physical friends that you can gather around a table with and enjoy Dungeons and Dragons with was ultimately what I needed. I'm very glad that the early MMOs are one of the things that helped lead me to that destination.

    • 1019 posts
    August 19, 2018 1:50 PM PDT

    Let me experience living in Norrath for a year.  After that year, I'll tell you which I perfer.  

    • 612 posts
    August 20, 2018 9:18 AM PDT

    Hauskat said: I do strongly prefer text to discord chat.

    Just in case you didn't realize. Discord isn't only used for voice chat. You can setup 'text' channels that people can use to type chat in without needing to join the voice channels. Some of the big servers have multiple text channels as well as multiple voice channels.

    Some guilds don't bother to create web forums anymore. They just setup text channels on their discord servers and let their players talk in there. You can even set permissions for each channel so you can have private channels for only guildmembers, and also have public channels for friends outside the guild who join your discord server.

    For those who don't already know about it... there is a huge discord channel for Pantheon (unofficial) where a ton of people chat about Pantheon daily. You can find an invite in this thread: https://www.pantheonmmo.com/content/forums/topic/3492/unofficial-pantheon-discord-voice-text-chat

    Once you get in, you can send one of the Mod's a link to your profile on this forum (ie. https://www.pantheonmmo.com/content/profile/YOURNAME - you need to make sure it's not set to private) and they will grant you access based on your pledge level.

    As mentioned it's not official but there are some VR dev's who hang out there. David Schlow (aka Roenick) is almost always online.

    • 696 posts
    August 20, 2018 10:35 AM PDT

    I don't know what you mean by being in the virtual world? Like do I wish I would transport into an mmo and get to live their? and would I prefer that to real life? Probably not. I wouldn't like to die over and over again like in EQ. MMO's tend to have mean creatures all around. Now would I prefer playing video games over going out to a bar. Yeah.

    Would I prefer to socialize with friends playing a video game then meeting up somewhere and just gossip about who we don't like or which girls we liked or getting drunk? Yeah.

    I do admit their are things I should be doing, like bettering myself in programming, but tend to just play video games instead.

    I am an introvert and don't really have any friends. I get tired being around a crowd of people, but in an mmo I am quite an extrovert at times.

     

    So do I prefer the virtual world over a lot of activites? Yes.

    Do I neglect my real life for the virtual world? To a degree, but not too bad.

    If I have obligations in my real life, would I neglect them for the virtual world? No

    If I need to do something on a raid night that has to get done in rl that will cause me to miss that night, then I will. 

    • 1785 posts
    August 20, 2018 4:02 PM PDT

    This is an interesting topic.

    There have been times in my life when I much preferred "living" in the games I was playing than I did in the real world.  Sometimes it was a form of escapism, other times it was just because real life was boring and mundane, and the games were a source of excitement and social interaction for me.  Historically, I've found that I tend to build stronger friendships with people I meet in games, at least as long as the game encourages us to be social.  I think this happens not because games are any better for building friendships than real life, but because in the real world, so few people take the time to really talk to each other.  We're all so wrapped up in the details of our own lives that stopping and taking time out to get to know someone who's not directly a part of something we're doing just doesn't happen.

    My "ideal" MMO would be one that creates a space where people can really get to know each other and become invested in each other's lives, both in and out of game.  When that person on your friends list gets their epic armor that they've been working on for months, that should be something that really matters and that we all care about.  However, when that guildmate posts the picture of their new baby, that should also be something that really matters and that we all care about as well.  I have been disappointed in many recent MMOs, because they are so focused on being a "game" that they don't leave players time for anything else.

    At the end of it though I don't think it should be a choice between the game world and the real world.  The game world gives us opportunities that we might not get in the real world, both in terms of social interaction as well as what we can achieve.  I mean, in the game world I can be a hero, and go around slaying terrible monsters.  In the real world I have to work a mildly frustrating corporate job that I would drop in a heartbeat if I had a better way to pay my mortgage.  But there's no substitute for real world interaction either - I don't care how introverted someone is, sometimes they just need to see other people, at least for a little while.  I suppose that's why I"m one of those people who tries to organize real world meetups periodically for my in-game friends and guildmates.   I only wish plane tickets weren't so expensive, so that more people could do them.

     

    • 51 posts
    August 20, 2018 5:19 PM PDT

    GoofyWarriorGuy said:

    Hauskat said: I do strongly prefer text to discord chat.

    Just in case you didn't realize. Discord isn't only used for voice chat. You can setup 'text' channels that people can use to type chat in without needing to join the voice channels. Some of the big servers have multiple text channels as well as multiple voice channels.

    No, I didn't know that. Thanks for the info! 

    • 51 posts
    August 20, 2018 5:37 PM PDT

    Nephele said:

    At the end of it though I don't think it should be a choice between the game world and the real world.  The game world gives us opportunities that we might not get in the real world, both in terms of social interaction as well as what we can achieve.  I mean, in the game world I can be a hero, and go around slaying terrible monsters.  In the real world I have to work a mildly frustrating corporate job that I would drop in a heartbeat if I had a better way to pay my mortgage.  But there's no substitute for real world interaction either - I don't care how introverted someone is, sometimes they just need to see other people, at least for a little while.  I suppose that's why I"m one of those people who tries to organize real world meetups periodically for my in-game friends and guildmates.   I only wish plane tickets weren't so expensive, so that more people could do them.

    Nephele, I agree with you. In fact, I think Pantheon will help players in real life in many ways. The grouping provides lessons in how to work well with others in a team to get things done. Those lessons can be applied in real life. I know that my previous gaming experiences taught me the importance of giving -- and at times selfless sacrifice -- for the good of the team.

    We also make new friends by helping others in game -- friends we can count on to be there when we need help in game. Gaming expands our ability to make new friends, especially for those of us who pretty much see the same people every day in real life.

     

    • 303 posts
    August 20, 2018 11:12 PM PDT

    I don't think its a matter of games being mundane and physical real life being somehow inherently meaningful. The people I talk to in a game are just as real as the ones I talk to online, its just a matter of physical distance.

    Playing games, especially MMORPGs have absolutely been helpful to me in my own life at least. They replaced drugs, got me in with a new, better crowd (my guild lol) and in times of just not being mentally and/or physically capable of maintaining a functional life they saved me from being completely alone. In fact I guess it goes for the internet in general, for introverted or depressed people it can be a real blessing.

    When I think of my dad who doesn't play video games, he sure seems more lonely than me even though he goes outside every day for work etc. When he comes home he watches TV until he needs to cook, eats, goes back to TV and then goes to sleep. I think its much more engaging to be lost in an MMORPG then, even if it isn't "real".

    • 2756 posts
    August 21, 2018 2:23 AM PDT

    MMORPGs are fantastic for people who burn out on 'normal' social interaction (work, family, etc) elsewhere.  They are also fantastic (almost a lifeline for some) for those that are socially awkward in person or even have difficulty communicating in realtime (for various reasons).

    I have *no* problem talking in real-time, in-person, etc.  Some would say they wish I had more of a problem!  But, I still much prefer, in many ways, the extra chance to think and edit myself that you get from text chat (and forum posting!).

    I won't be using voice chat in game with randoms.  'The Public' are too often annoying or painful to deal with.  Gaming, for me, can almost be meditative when I'm 'in the zone'.  This doesn't mean I'm not concentrating - quite the opposite - but text chat seems to quite happily slide into that level of conciousness, whereas someone talking into my ear does not.  I can even play FPS shooters to relax!

    Also, role-playing-wise text is much better than voice.

    I'm straying from real-world vs game world a little, but I think it's related.

    It's interesting how people refer to gaming as 'not the real world'.  I'm not *imagining* myself sat at my desk typing on my keyboard and interacting with other players.  It's real.  I think it's problematic that some people treat that as something that's 'not real'.  I think a lot of the toxicity you get online is a result of people treating those real people they are interacting with as somehow not being 'real'.  I think a lot of the problems people get *from* spending 'too much' time online is because of their attitude *to* that experience.  Online life doesn't have to feel like you aren't real.

    If I go outside and do some gardening, only I experience that.  I can tell someone about it later, but it's no more real to them than listening to a radio show.  In some ways watching the television or playing a game is just as real as anything else to others and how you interact with others online is very important to them *and to you*.  Your own feelings will change if you allow yourself to become something else online and that can be positive or negative.  You should take it seriously.

    Of course, the worlds and situations represented in computer games are not real, but it's no less real than reading a great book and talking to a friend about it and maybe discussing the things that happened and speculating on how you might have told the story.

    I'm waffling now, but I'm hoping to explain how I have a very firm grip on 'reality' and gaming worlds are a big part of my 'reality'.  In the future, virtual worlds may well be treated like great literature and be just as rich an experience as many 'real life' situations.

    Humans have a connection with nature that is immeasurably valuable, but we can do both.  A *lot* of the 'real world' we experience is several hours per day in an office or a factory or similar.  That's not better than a virtual world is it?  What if when we 'went to the office' we actually slipped into a rich virtual world instead?  Would that be 'worse' or 'better' than 'real life'?

    Anyway... waffling, as I said.  I find the whole concept very interesting and people's attitudes to it more so.  I'm horribly old, so I've gone from a world with no internet or mobile phones and 2 TV channels that actually shut down overnight to 24/7 social media and virtual worlds of varying types.  Recent generations obviously have a different attitude and feelings about virtual worlds.  Reality has changed and is changing.

    • 168 posts
    August 21, 2018 9:34 AM PDT

    I've specifically used MMOs as a money saving tool. I was out in bars 4-5 nights a week. I think from 2001-2004, I saved above $30,000 US dollars by spending $15/month on DAoC. I concidered both guildmates and server friends as an extended family and was actually closer to some of them than my RL family. The money saving continued thru TBC in WoW where teamwork and relying on people to log on and commit to endevors still had a significant value.

    Often, people see only cherry picked bad parts of gaming such as toxic chat, trolling, no accountability for actions of players/ forum posters. I feel that some of those folks in the early days learned reliability, accountability, and saw the people behind the toon not just the toon. I certainly feel that because of MMOs, some people became better RL people to friends and family.

    • 233 posts
    August 23, 2018 11:46 PM PDT

    Real life is disgusting and vile, filled with monsters.
    I'd choose any in game world than this one.

    • 612 posts
    August 24, 2018 11:51 AM PDT

    Grimseethe said: Real life is disgusting and vile, filled with monsters.

    But what if us monsters are playing the game with you... *epic gopher meme here*